Monday, August 16, 2010
Long Nights!
I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning to a dark shadow looming over my head. I gasped in shock before I realized it was my dear sweet 9 year old daughter. She's been having bad dreams for several months. I let her climb into bed with me and her little body was just shaking. It was so sad. We grabbed some pillows and moved to the couch in a vain attempt to let my husband still sleep before going to work.
I had to talk to her calmly and tell her to take in some deep breaths. With every breath she took I could feel her muscles get a little calmer each time. But I don't believe she really calmed down for at least another 30 minutes of me with my arms around her. It's so horrifying to me to see her so scared to go to bed. Last night at bedtime, as her siblings were getting ready for bed, she put on my apron and started loading the dishwasher and started it. I was on the phone with my mother so I didn't have time to find out why my hide-when-it's-chore-time child was actively and happily doing chores without being asked. After she attempted to start a load of laundry and move on to cleaning up the peanuts her two year old brother left all over the carpet, I asked, "Are you afraid to go to sleep?" She said, "No, I just wanted to clean up this mess." I thought she may not realize it she's scared, but told her how happy I was that she was doing chores without being asked and how glad I was for the help. I read several books to her brothers and when I came out she finally admitted to me that she was afraid to go to sleep.
Before we laid on the couch, I offered to kneel with her and she could say a prayer asking Heavenly Father for help. She said a wonderful heartfelt desire for help to have good dreams and to get some good sleep. As soon as we finished she said, "It's not going to help." I asked her why she said that and she just repeated that it's probably not going to do any good. I told her that Heavenly Father can't help her if she's not using her faith to believe that he can and will help her.
Sometimes in our darkest hours, when we feel lost and afraid, we can't accept any solution or offer of help, because we feel there is no help. That is only true if we make it true. As soon as we open our eyes and our hearts to our Savior Jesus Christ we will be blessed. There is always a way to overcome our problems. When all else fails, I know the way is through our Savior Jesus Christ. No one will ever feel the pain and loneliness that he felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. He understands what loneliness and pain are. He has felt every pain and heartache and struggle that we have felt and will ever feel. Why? So he can be the true mediator for us with our Father in Heaven. So at each of our time of judgment He can truly say to our Father in Heaven that he knows our hearts. That he knows what struggles we had to overcome and where our hearts have been and where they are now. He knows whether we have tried diligently to obey the commandments that he has given us. The commandments are like a road map to lead us safely back to our Father in Heaven without the detours of self inflicted sorrow and pain, or worse the exits which take us far beyond the sight of our path.
I pray that Heavenly Father will help my daughter to understand these parts of faith. I'm sure in time this will prove to be another faith building experience for her as she learns to put her faith in God the Father and in His Son our Savior Jesus Christ. I hope when I am not by her side that she will begin to feel her Saviors arms wrapped around her to comfort her when she is feeling scared. I never knew what it felt like to watch someone I love learn these lessons for themselves until now. I guess I never realized how much faith I have when these moments come to me. It's a different perspective watching others while realizing that I built my faith through similar sleepless nights that kept me up wondering if my prayers would be heard. Now I know they are heard and I know he will answer them in His own way and in His own time.
I had to talk to her calmly and tell her to take in some deep breaths. With every breath she took I could feel her muscles get a little calmer each time. But I don't believe she really calmed down for at least another 30 minutes of me with my arms around her. It's so horrifying to me to see her so scared to go to bed. Last night at bedtime, as her siblings were getting ready for bed, she put on my apron and started loading the dishwasher and started it. I was on the phone with my mother so I didn't have time to find out why my hide-when-it's-chore-time child was actively and happily doing chores without being asked. After she attempted to start a load of laundry and move on to cleaning up the peanuts her two year old brother left all over the carpet, I asked, "Are you afraid to go to sleep?" She said, "No, I just wanted to clean up this mess." I thought she may not realize it she's scared, but told her how happy I was that she was doing chores without being asked and how glad I was for the help. I read several books to her brothers and when I came out she finally admitted to me that she was afraid to go to sleep.
Before we laid on the couch, I offered to kneel with her and she could say a prayer asking Heavenly Father for help. She said a wonderful heartfelt desire for help to have good dreams and to get some good sleep. As soon as we finished she said, "It's not going to help." I asked her why she said that and she just repeated that it's probably not going to do any good. I told her that Heavenly Father can't help her if she's not using her faith to believe that he can and will help her.
Sometimes in our darkest hours, when we feel lost and afraid, we can't accept any solution or offer of help, because we feel there is no help. That is only true if we make it true. As soon as we open our eyes and our hearts to our Savior Jesus Christ we will be blessed. There is always a way to overcome our problems. When all else fails, I know the way is through our Savior Jesus Christ. No one will ever feel the pain and loneliness that he felt in the Garden of Gethsemane. He understands what loneliness and pain are. He has felt every pain and heartache and struggle that we have felt and will ever feel. Why? So he can be the true mediator for us with our Father in Heaven. So at each of our time of judgment He can truly say to our Father in Heaven that he knows our hearts. That he knows what struggles we had to overcome and where our hearts have been and where they are now. He knows whether we have tried diligently to obey the commandments that he has given us. The commandments are like a road map to lead us safely back to our Father in Heaven without the detours of self inflicted sorrow and pain, or worse the exits which take us far beyond the sight of our path.
I pray that Heavenly Father will help my daughter to understand these parts of faith. I'm sure in time this will prove to be another faith building experience for her as she learns to put her faith in God the Father and in His Son our Savior Jesus Christ. I hope when I am not by her side that she will begin to feel her Saviors arms wrapped around her to comfort her when she is feeling scared. I never knew what it felt like to watch someone I love learn these lessons for themselves until now. I guess I never realized how much faith I have when these moments come to me. It's a different perspective watching others while realizing that I built my faith through similar sleepless nights that kept me up wondering if my prayers would be heard. Now I know they are heard and I know he will answer them in His own way and in His own time.
